– Little Rock, AR
Jeffrey Nanners, a 58 year old auto mechanic, announced today that the current high temperatures experienced by much of the country in no way proves that “global warming is a thing.”
“Temperatures change and get high in the Summer. It doesn’t prove anything,” Nanners said.
These comments appear to be contrary to remarks Nanners made last winter when he sarcastically said “Guess that’s just global warming, huh?” during an ice storm. He was also heard to say “Where’s all that global warming you hear about?” while shoveling snow from his driveway.
“There’s nothing inconsistent with my views at all. If it’s hot in the summer for many many days, that proves that global warming isn’t real, because it’s supposed to be hot. If it’s cold in the winter for a couple of days, that also proves global warming isn’t real, because it’s supposed to be cold. Those are just facts,” Nanners said. “You can’t judge climate change based on a few days. Except in the winter.”
“Look, if global warming were real, we’d have these temperatures in February, and we don’t, do we, Poindexter?” Nanners asked reporter Poindexter McClure.
When asked whether or not Nanners had a point, Dr. Eleanor Rigsby, a climatologist with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration simply shook her head, sighed, and then threw a bunch of science on a table.
“Why is NASA even dealing with this. Unless they think the moon is somehow affecting stuff on Earth. Which is ridiculous,” Nanners said derisively.