— New York
Donald Trump today revealed that his entire campaign for the GOP presidential nomination has been nothing more than a piece of performance art that he hope will make the nation “really stop and think.” The revelation follows what can only be described as an hour and half diatribe last night in which he compared Dr. Ben Carson to a child molester, called Iowans stupid, claimed he’d bomb the S**t out of ISIS, called Marco Rubio weak as a baby, and demonstrated knife fighting techniques.
“Last night was the culmination of a long term art piece,” Trump said today. “It’s a work I call ‘The Soul Mirror’, because everything I’ve said or done in this campaign is a reflection on the American voter. It’s not pretty, is it?”
Trump, who requested that going forward people refer to him by his artist name “Vox Populis” went on to apologize to anyone who was offended by the work, adding “Sometimes art hurts. Sometimes it makes you look foolish. But a great artist cannot be afraid. I’m a lot like Yoko Ono in that respect.”
“My performance on Saturday Night Live last week was really a side piece to the main work. I called it ‘Tears of the Clown,’ and I think it really makes the sheeple have to think about whether or not they must accept that something is comedy merely because they are told it is. The answer should be no.”
The erstwhile Trump revealed that his entire career up to this point has been a gradual introduction of this piece. “I had to get rich to put this together. I had to get famous. I had to be crass and awful for decades to inject the project with truth. The whole thing has been exhausting, and I’m glad it’s over. I’ll do a small installation at a SOHO gallery next month featuring statues made of potatoes and ham called “The Whoman Condition”. After that, Vox Populis shines a truth light onto something else.”
When one reporter asked if Trump was actually presumed dead comedian Andy Kaufman, Trump just laughed. “No, of course not. He’s too busy doing that Ann Coulter character he’s been busy with. It’s terrific.. Funnier than Tony Clifton.”
This is a parody, which, frankly, should be obvious.